So I have this really fun devo. book that I was reminded about yesterday when a girl at work wanted to borrow it to use with her youth at church. The title of the book is: Taming a Liger, Unexpected Spritual Lessons from Napoleon Dynamite - a 24 Piece Set. I was looking through it today after she handed it back to me and I thought I would share one with you... If you haven't seen the movie, I recommend it as well. It's dumb, but you will somehow identify with it, promise.
Chapter 9 - You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
What a way to start a conversation. "I see you're drinking 1 percent. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. you could be drinking whole if you wanted to."
Seriously, Napoleon. What were you thinking? I mean, I know you're all tongue-tied talking to this pretty girl and all, but . . . . seriously. That's the best you can come up with? Come on man.
But the thing is, he was telling the truth.
And he was so "Napoleon" about it.
Can you imagine Napoleon sitting down at Deb's table and opening up with a line like, "So, peanut butter and jelly - it's not tots, but it'll do," or " I haven't seen you around school before; you new here?" or the worst, "Hey, Sweethaeart, my name's Napoleon. What'd you say we go out on friday?"
Not exactly Napoleon style.
Instead, Napoleon was just who he was: clumsy, maladjusted, off-beat Napoleon Dynamite. the character we know and love. He meant noill intent; rather, he was trying to be nice. He was abrupt and blunt, but that's only because he has no tact in the first placce. The point is, his heart was in the right place, and though the words weren't exactly the smoothest they could be, they did do the trick and opened the door to a friendship with Deb.
Napoleon spoke the truth, and he did it in love.
There's a multifacited word: "Love." It has so many connotations, but here we aren't talking about it in the romantic sense but in the "love of our fellow human beings" sense. Napoleon easn't trying to harm Deb, he was trying to pay her a compliment; it just came out wrong. But I think Deb saw the attitude behind it and knew Napoleon wasn't being mean. His heart was in the right place, in a place of love, of caring about her feelings, something he ordinarily isn't very good at.
Back in the times of the early church, the apostle Paul wrote a lot of letters to different churches as a means of keeping everyone on the same page. Many of those letters contribute to the New Testament, and one of them was written to the church at Ephesus.
Here's something to understand about Paul. He was quite Napoleon-like in his ability to be blunt, and many times in his letters he would openly rebuke churches for doing things that were ungodly. He pulled no punches; instead, he knew that honest, open truth was what they needed to hear, as long as they knew he was saying it not as a way of tearing them down but as a way of building them up.
He addressed this letter to the church at Ephesus. He was going on in his long passage, telling themall about building unity within intheir church memebers and how we all have different personalities and tasks God wants us to perform. And then he caps it all off by telling them that to keep themselves from listening to all the little lying voices that would try to lead them astray, they need to talk to each other truthfully, but lovingly (See Ephesians 4:15).
Speak the truth, but do it in love.
You aren't fat, so drink the milk you want to drink.
So how are you about telling people the truth about themselves? Do you hold backwhat you know to be true? Do you offer the truth, but do it in a destructive way in order to build yourself up or make yourself look better?
Imagine if Napoleon hadn't said anything to Deb other than, "I have your stuff in my locker." No mention of her appearance. Deb is obviously nrevous having Napoleon at the table, and she now has no reassurance of what he thnks of her, because he isn't saying anything; he's hiding his true thoughts and feelings for no reason. There's no telling where their relationship would head at that point.
Or let's say Napoleon sits down and says, "I see you're drinking 1 percent. Good thing - you don't want to get fat." He's essentially still saying that Deb isn't "fat." But it's a good thing he avoids that phrasing: his way is much more kind. In my imagined version, he spoke the truthm he said almost the same thing, but subtly implied that Deb isn't desireable to Napoleon if she did get fat. I'm pretty sure Napoleon doesn't want to imply that.
What do you do with the truth? Do you speak it lovingly? Do you speak it at all? We only get one shot at this life; let us not waste our time holding back truths that can help people. Instead, let us speak the truth - and only the truth - and let's do it with a loving heart. We may not always get the words right, but the attitude will be there and the world will see it.
We will be drinking whole.
God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love - like Christ in everything. We take our lead from Christ, who is the source of everything we do. -Ephesians 4:15
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